On the Internet or in real life, I can often see people say they have a fetish, and when I ask around it turns out to be: "I have a fetish because I love money." For this statement, many people may just laugh it off, thinking that the combination of fascination and hobby is kinda funny. However, in the eyes of a psychiatrist, or in the eyes of a practitioner in the psychology industry, they do not think so, they will feel that this is a kind of psychological distortion, and can not help but imagine a lot of images.
Some of the issues to be discussed regarding fetishism include
- What exactly is a fetish?
- What about the cross-dressers?
- And what causes fetishes?
- Sex with inanimate objects
What exactly is a fetish?
Fetishism refers to the fact that people with fetishism often have strong sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors towards inanimate objects and are able to derive sexual satisfaction from them. They achieve sexual satisfaction by caressing the object, rubbing it or smelling it while masturbating.
And these inanimate objects can be anything. Clothes, shoes, food, household items, household appliances . . even body parts like hands, feet, and hair. It's safe to say that there are as many kinds of objects in this world as there are fetishes. Let's say a man masturbates into a car's tailpipe, and with a household vacuum cleaner...
Specific examples:
There's a 32-year-old single, freelance photographer who, while he finds women attractive in their own right, their pants are even more attractive to him. His sexual fascination with women's shorts began when he was seven years old. When he first saw a pornographic magazine at the time, he was aroused by a picture of a half-naked woman in shorts. The freelance photographer's first ejaculation occurred when he was 13 years old, but not through a normal human sex object, but by masturbating to a fantasy of a woman in shorts. After that, he would wear his sister's shorts for sexual gratification, and then he would steal shorts from her friends, or other friends he met socially, for gratification.
The photographer indicated during his therapy sessions that his favorite way to reach orgasm, and the only way he could reach orgasm, from the time he was sexually budding as a teenager to now as an adult, was to masturbate in various stolen women's shorts.
Let's look at another case:
The fetishist man in this case, the object of his obsession is women's shoes and legs. But unlike the patient in the first case who simply and brutally used stealing, he had been arrested a couple of times in public places such as train stations and libraries for secretly photographing and touching ladies' thighs. The fetishist finally came up with a way to solve the problem by renting an office room and falsely claiming to be an agent for a knitwear company, placing ads to recruit models for their products. In this way, he took the opportunity to photograph a lot of women walking and sitting in poses that showed the beautiful shape of their legs. Afterwards, he used these images and photographs for sexual gratification without having to wander around and risk arrest.
Fetishism is a condition that is rare, but not unheard of, when it happens to women. Here are two cases of female fetishists to see what their sexual fantasy world is really like.
A female fetishist once described it:
From the time I was thirteen or fourteen years old, all sorts of weird symbols of sexuality began to appear, especially symbols of the phallus, such as a rubber hose being used for watering in the garden, a jet of water, an eggplant or other long vegetable, a very long but drooping trumpet flower, a stamen in a flower, a stick in a round hole, or something similar to a stick . ...
All of these can become symbols of sex or sexual behavior and keep appearing before my eyes. Even the teeth and tongue contain sexual connotations. I would often hold my tongue against my teeth, never stopping until my tongue was tired. Sometimes, in order to suppress sexual awareness, I did not even dare to stick out my thumb, and often involuntarily hid it in my fist. Because the thumb also has its own special symbol. There are many other things that can be used as sex symbols, such as several of the 26 letters of the alphabet.
Another female fetishist was a 27-year-old married woman with a high IQ but a somewhat psychopathic fetish. Most of her sexual symbols came to her while she slept, and she always woke up with her own interpretations of them, such as a ship anchored in a harbor symbolizing sexual intercourse, or a person sailing along with a ship. Water symbolizes the mother's body (it has to do with amniotic fluid in pregnancy). Death, killing or hurting someone in a dream is also equivalent to having sex with someone (because sex itself also means the death of sperm). A knife, symbolizing a phallus, link-like bugs and snakes, representing small male genitals. A locomotive, a tree, or a banana also symbolize a phallus, and rain and tears symbolize semen, which is the inner world of the female fetishist.
Some people hear here will have a doubt: in life, some people like to see, or like to touch, like to smell their loved one's clothes, and even produce sexual excitement, these are very common ah, is it also regarded as fetishism?
That's a good question that asks the key point. Here, I would like to emphasize that a very important characteristic of fetishism is exclusivity! It is normal to like to look at, touch and smell the clothes of the person you love. But for fetishists, only inanimate objects can give them sexual arousal and fulfillment. In other words, they prefer inanimate objects to people in their sexual activities because people do not work for them.
To summarize a few criteria for satisfying a fetish.
- Objects give them sexual arousal, sexual arousal.
- Masturbate to sexual satisfaction through this object.
- Sexual satisfaction can only be achieved through this object.
About the cross-dressers
When we talk about crossdressers, we are not referring to cases where men dress up as women for entertainment effect. Rather, we are talking about transvestites who, in real life, have no choice or control but to cross-dress.
Transvestism is the term used to describe the way in which heterosexual men constantly obtain strong sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual fulfillment by dressing themselves as women. Here's a summary of some of the core elements of this type of man:
- A crossdresser who isn't in it for sexual pleasure isn't a true transvestite. That is to say, a true transvestite is totally running in pursuit of his or her own sexual fulfillment and pleasure, not just for fun or profit form of fooling around.
- Transvestism relieves stress in the life of the sufferer, so when the transvestite is in a state of anxiety, it is also the moment when his transvestite behavior is frequent.
- The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual, which means that transvestism does not prevent them from marrying normally with someone of the opposite sex, forming a family, and having children.
Take a look at the case below:
In his youth, 65-year-old A was a fishing boat captain. A first became interested in collecting women's clothing when he was 12 years old and experienced sexual arousal when he put on his older sister's women's underwear. He began to wear women's underwear regularly, an act that always led to erections and sometimes spontaneous ejaculation, resulting in immense sexual satisfaction.
But that doesn't mean Old A has a problem with his sexuality, he is also very manly when he is with boys, very competitive and aggressive. And during his bachelorhood, he always liked girls too. Old A later got married normally and had children, and after marriage, he was still interested in wearing women's clothes, which was tacitly recognized by his wife.
After the age of 45, Old A completely let himself go and embarked on a deep study of cross-dressing. He became more and more obsessed with fantasizing about women's clothing and often attended various transvestite parties. Old A felt that the more stressful his life was, the stronger the urge to dress up as a woman, which had a calming effect on him.
What causes a fetish?
The first of the causes of fetishism is a casual, mistaken association.
Fetishism mostly occurs in a person's childhood, when a person has not had time to establish a normal sexual relationship between people, and then deviates from the normal track because of an occasional accident. For example, a boy accidentally touches a wig cover during one of his orgasms, and from then on the hair becomes the boy's obsession, lingering in his mind. A young man was lying on the floor, when a woman with a beautiful posture came over, the woman raised a foot and kept stepping on him, in the process of being stepped on, he inadvertently produced sexual desire, and from then on, this young man became a foot fetishist. In these two examples, the fetishist is associating his orgasm and sexual satisfaction with some kind of object, somewhat similar to the creation of some kind of conditioned reflex.
And, the reason why fetishes are basically found in men is because men need greater visual sexual fantasies. It's also that, for men, sexual desire comes more from direct stimulation of physical features. For women, on the other hand, sexual desire is more dependent on emotional stimulation, such as a love affair with a loved one. It is likely, then, that after puberty, during a period of stronger libidinal stimulation, men are more likely to respond sexually to certain objects because they are inherently more focused on visual stimulation and have less need for any emotional connection with the other person.
The second reason is the Oedipus complex that goes nowhere.
The origin of the Oedipus complex comes from Greek mythology, Oedipus is a Greek mythological character who unknowingly killed his father and married his mother. So, in psychology, Oedipus complex is used to describe a person who has an Oedipal complex. Such a person has a tendency to go against his father in order to compete with his mother, and at the same time has a tendency to self-destruct in order to relieve the pain because of moral and ethical pressures.
The explanation of the Oedipus complex specifically, according to Freud, is that a young boy at the age of five or six will choose his mother as his first object of sexual desire. So in the subconscious mind of the young boy, he will see his father as a hostile love rival and want to kill him. However, because the father is so powerful, not only can the little boy not kill him, but he will instead develop a fear of his own thoughts of killing, a fear that is Freud's famous castration complex. The young boy castrates himself for fear that his father will see him as a love rival and a threat to his mother.
These psychological conflicts in the Oedipus complex will shape and influence the development of this young boy's sexuality and personality later in life.
In normal development it is the presence of fear that causes the young boy to turn away from his sexual desire for his mother and to succeed in turning his interest to other women and developing a normal sexual pattern. Whereas in pathological development the little boy does not overcome his hostility to his father, nor does he give up his obsession with his mother's sexuality. But there was nothing he could do to his mother either, so he would fall in love with people, or objects, who could function as a mother to him.
The end result is that the little boy grows up unable to fall in love with women his own age, or even with anyone else for that matter, and wants nothing more than the kind of unconditional love, protection, beauty and security that only a mother can give him. And these are obviously not things that a normal human object of the opposite sex can selflessly give him, only objects that don't talk, don't complain, and don't ask for anything in return are more appropriate.
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