You're chatting in the sunshine in the living room of his house on a lazy weekend afternoon, and then he asks if you'd like something to drink? You come into the kitchen and he surprises you by grabbing your hand and leading you to his bedroom. He starts kissing you and it feels wonderful, you have a shivering sensation, half anticipation, half excitement. Then he starts unbuttoning your shirt ..... But you are a little alarmed, you do like him a lot and hope he likes you just as much. But you want things to move a little slower. But how on earth can you control the situation without making him feel like you're too much of a prude?
You should wake up
There are a lot of girls out there who feel that they are being forced by their boyfriends on dates, which of course can't be equated to rape, but sex like that is also lacking in sensation. We know that you've heard this a million times before, but it's true that sex isn't just about a man's needs, it's about the two of you, and it's up to you to make a conscious decision about when (and if) this is going to happen between you. You can not step over the line, but the consequence has to be that doing so will not affect the relationship between you. All you have to do is keep your head cool and take control of the situation. What are his feelings? What are you thinking? When he's breathing heavily and being aggressive, you may be thinking
- I really like him, and if I stop right away, he'll stop liking me. What then?
- I've already kissed him and let him do the rest, and if I stop now, he'll think I'm a prude.
- He said I was pretty, so he really likes me, he's not using me, and he'll ask me out again.
Maybe you're thinking differently than these, but it's not far off.
The most common idea is that you want to be with him not just physically, but emotionally as well, and that's probably why you're considering having sex with him. Because if you don't want him to be your boyfriend, just simply say to him I think this won't work. Having sex with him while you are hesitant may bring you closer together at once, but you have to think about the negatives as well, there is a chance that he will pretend that nothing happened :, maybe he doesn't want to be with you, maybe he will pretend in front of his acquaintances that he has nothing to do with you. All of these will break your heart and make you bitter.
A girl's bottom line
Going out with a boy doesn't mean you have to sleep with him. And it certainly doesn't mean you can't initiate anything. So, be bold and do what you like to do. He'll find your confidence and honesty, and that's what's really sexy. He will love not only your body, but also your soul.
Change your mind
The first thing you need to come to terms with is that sex without an emotional basis is like getting a Christmas card at 30% off when they sell them the day after Christmas. So your motto should be: no feelings, no sex. If you could always do that, you wouldn't put yourself in a dilemma. Your answer should be a resounding "no," no matter who it is.
Still have doubts? Then think again about how boys will find you more valuable if you're hard to get your hands on. We're not asking you to pretend to be hard to get your hands on, we're asking you to actually be hard to get your hands on, like a rare gemstone. Rare is special, and you are one of a kind. That's why how he treats you depends on what kind of response you take. So, until he proves that he is indeed sincere and honest with me, I will not take sex with him lightly.
Control
Now you have some magic words to hold your ground. For every reason he's trying to get you into bed, you can find an argument to the contrary. Here are three tips to keep your words and actions together if the troops are on the ground and you're not ready for them.
- No more kissing him.
- Say to him, "I really like you, but I don't want to do this at this stage." Don't give in even if he pushes. For boys, sex is like candy. And you should be the sensible adult who says to him, "No more."
- Get up as you speak, button your shirt, and leave.
If you can't say it, use your body language to show him that you don't want to continue. Turn your head to show that you don't want to kiss him anymore, or move his hands away from your body. But you still have to say something like "I want to go home, let me go. " and leave so he can understand your attitude. If you hesitate, he thinks he just needs to talk to you again and you'll fall in line. This may cause you to argue. You certainly don't want that, so being firm is paramount. If he gets irritated about it, that's fine. Just think about the fact that he's a cranky guy, and you don't want to date a cranky guy.
He's probably driven by hormones
No matter what you've ever heard, men don't just need sex. But their hormones push them to take the leap (between the ages of 18 and 21 is when their hormones are at their highest), which means that sometimes, a guy's behavior is dictated more by his hormones, than by his brain. When he starts to get aroused, he'll feel really good and won't want to stop. That's a strong physical reaction and not a carefully thought out decision. So unless you say something that a strong physical reaction is not a carefully thought out decision. So unless you say something to make him realize that he shouldn't be in a hurry, he won't stop. He may say a lot of nice things like: "You're beautiful", "I like you a lot" or even "I love you". But these words don't mean what you think they do, especially if your relationship isn't very strong. Of course, at the time, you were beautiful and sexy in his eyes, and he did "love" you because he thought you must make him feel good, but there's no guarantee that he'll still feel that way afterward, especially if he can think with his own brain and not be ruled by his hormones. So one of the most important things is to never believe anything he says when you are very intoxicated. If he still keeps saying that to you afterwards, then you can start believing that he means it.
READ MORE
1.How to overcome sexual shame? Beyond yourself
2.9 Alternative Ways to Have Sex That Don't Involve Penetration
