Celebrity romances in the entertainment industry are always in the limelight, and this sibling romance between Kendall Jenner and Ben Simmons is also attracting the public's attention. It seems that people don't think much of this kind of age gap romance, but in recent years there are more and more of these lovers, why is that?
May-December romance are often frowned upon, psychologically speaking, for three reasons:
From the traditional perspective of evolutionary psychology, men looking for mates tend to look for young, beautiful women, as this symbolizes better fertility; women looking for mates tend to look for older men with high social status, which symbolizes the ability to provide sufficient economic security for future generations.
Most women want to be taken care of in a relationship, and they believe that older men will do a better job of this, while with younger men, they are easily treated as "moms" by each other.
Women are older than men, meaning that the speed of aging is also faster than men, the so-called As beauty fades, love speeds away, when a woman's beautiful face is gone, a man's love may also be gone, so May-December romance this kind of relationship is more unstable.
However, even with these and other disadvantages, the proportion of this new relationship in modern societies is increasing day by day.
Is May-December romance already a big trend?
The percentage of such relationships in the U.S. appears to be steadily increasing over time, according to some data from the Office of National Statistics. Not coincidentally, in Canada, according to their data, back in 2011, there were already about 4.6% of marriages or cohabiting relationships where the woman was five or more years older than the man. Such changes are not just happening in these two countries.
According to the Daily Telegraph, the British National Statistics Office released the results of a survey showed that the proportion of May-December romance in the United Kingdom than 25 years ago has doubled, and more and more old wives and young couples appeared. The survey pointed out that 26% of men in their first marriages married women older than themselves, and 20% of women in their first marriages married men younger than themselves, which is 13 percentage points and 7 percentage points higher than 25 years ago, respectively.
A survey conducted by an.an, a leading Japanese women's magazine, found that more than half (55%) of young Japanese men prefer women older than themselves. A total of 496 men of age ranging from 16 to 35 years old were surveyed, with occupations ranging from students, models, singers, designers, editors, and general employees. It is clear that May-December romance have become popular around the world.
The factors for the popularity of May-December romance are intricate and complex, analyzing their psychological factors, which are broadly as follows:
1 Herd mentality
For most people, following the herd provides a sense of psychological security, whether it's the right thing to do or not, even if that navigation of the herd can fall off a cliff. The influence of the herd can be more pronounced especially when familiar people around you start to do so, such as a girl's best friend who starts to develop a May-December romance, or a guy's brother, or parents who are in a May-December romance marriage, etc.
Add to that this relationship trend is strong in the entertainment industry right now with Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll, who is seven years younger than her, Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller, who is five years younger than her, and Kate Hudson and Nick Jonas, who is thirteen years younger than her. According to Bandura's Social Learning Imitation Theory, none of them are also are not influencing young people's views on relationships.
2 Femininity
Modern women are more educated, cultured, individualized, and have good taste, as well as better careers and stable incomes. Compared to young women who are new to the society, women over 30 years old are more mature and steady after experiencing the experience of life, and their feelings have become more delicate and calm, and their femininity has reached its peak at this age, so they will be more attractive to the opposite sex.
And, because of the modern work and life pressure is generally very high, everyone's time and energy is very valuable, and understand a person needs to spend time cost, so when we first contact with a person of the opposite sex, in order to evaluate each other in a short period of time with the lowest cost, the first thing that comes to mind must be the external charm, rather than age, personality or other. Biologically speaking, when we see an attractive person of the opposite sex, the brain will secrete a large amount of dopamine, the stimulation is comparable to eating a gourmet meal. It's hard for human nature to overcome reason, and when we are in the moment of love, we may instantly change our preference for a spouse.
3 Complementary needs
The so-called hierarchy of needs is what we often call complementarity. Everyone is like a semicircle with a gap. When we meet someone with advantages that we do not have, attraction arises because the other person can form a complete circle with us. Older women favor the youthfulness of younger men, and younger men favor the maturity and stability of older women, which is a kind of complementarity, that is, the level of needs can satisfy each other. For example, some men look for a relationship with a person who is financially capable, and mature women tend to be better able to meet their needs in this regard.
There is a term in sociology called reverse socialization, which originally means the transfer of new knowledge and new ideas from the younger generation to the elders, indicating the two-way nature of socialization. In modern society , the speed of social change is fast, and so is the speed of updating knowledge. Some older people often cannot keep up with the trend, and they have to undergo reverse socialization if they want not to be left behind. The same is true of young men for mature women; their thinking is more up-to-date and edgy, and mature women want to learn different values from them.
All in all, whether it is from the crowd psychology, looks first or other, a relationship, together as long as happy why not? Moreover, physical age and psychological age are two different things, the age of the "baby" abound, so we can not hastily use age to define a person, but to focus on the other side of the inner maturity and stability.
And, if two people want to be united, they should also have a certain understanding of each other's psychological and physiological aspects, and be able to take the initiative to cooperate with and take care of each other, and rationalize their lives. In both sides can be proactive, mutual understanding of the basis of the cultivation of feelings, whether it is not sister and brother love, can create a beautiful married life.
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